When planning to have sex, well, too, can be various reasons for panic. And panic in a sexual situation, this leads to many problems ... So, Catherine, already, why can panic before sex?
Catherine: It is already panicking before the first time. And I'm not talking about a small normal stress, because some people have a terrible fear. Sometimes fear is such that they avoid meetings, situations of seduction or even exchange with people of the opposite sex for fear of arriving at a time to a sexual situation. This can react up to avoidance may be due to several reasons: it has been seen or heard frightening things about sexuality, or have interpreted things so scary. This also happens when you have a traumatic experience.
Claire: You can also panic when this is not the first time ...
Catherine: Sure. Can panic because we are afraid of not being up to par, either side of the man or of the woman's side. Because we are afraid that the other is very disappointed by what we are. Can panic because we are in a situation that we had not considered, because it goes too fast for example ... OR yet because the previous time it went wrong and we afraid it goes wrong again.
Claire: And when you panic, what's happening?
Catherine: In men, there may be a failure of erection. An erection will not come because of stress. Indeed, the adrenaline, the stress hormone, so the panic makes the heart beat faster, and she tightens arteries, narrowing their caliber. The problem is that the penile arteries should be expanded to make the erection occurs. And besides, this is not all: Even if the erection is more or less good because of the panic, ejaculation may be very rapid. Yep, stress, again because of the adrenaline tends to trigger ejaculation faster. No chance for poor men panicked.
Claire and women in a panic, what's happening?
Catherine: The panic that vaginal lubrication is not done or poorly. And besides, the vagina tends to tighten reflexively. Therefore, the penetration will be very difficult and often painful. Instead of being happy, the sexual act is going to be a chore or unpleasant moment!
Claire: What can we do when this happens?
Catherine: The first thing to do is talk. Must not specially say I'm completely panicked, but rather: "I feel a little stressed." It is often very reassuring to the other can be too. So another attempt to reassure you and already, it's less stressful than feeling your partner and empathetic listening, rather than to imagine that he or she tries to judge you.
And talk is one thing, but this does not necessarily. So we can say: Today, I feel stressed and I'd like to just do hugs or caresses. That way, we do not impose an obligation to be a successful penetration. So you can relax, and strangely, sometimes we get the penetration smoothly, precisely because it was not a requirement for success.
Claire: But sometimes, it must still be more complicated when there is a really strong panic?
Catherine: Yes, there are huge sexual stress when such a man or a woman is molested, sexual assault or rape. Sexual situation, even in a loving and respectful environment, can remind him of assault. And to panic. In this case, it often takes time, attention, and sometimes psychotherapy to resolve the situation. And I insist that this does not only happen to women.
Claire: Are you two can also panic?
Catherine:
Of course! Sexual collective panic, it happens too. Say that when one partner is stressed, the other feels. And he was just stressed out, he can see his anxiety increased. So we both panic. This is very common in sexual difficulties torque. That said, do not believe that it is always in this direction. You can also have a partner who is very zen, and said, "Do you not done." Although panic is contagious, calm is contagious too!
